Island Life

 

 

 

The people of Breuddwydion Island had a secret.  One they didn’t want to particularly share with anyone who wasn’t committed to staying.  So, when the small, sad, blonde woman moved to Breuddwydion Island, they were ready to convince her to leave.

 

 

 

That is until the King of Siam became her constant companion.

 

 

 

Van Buren, Enid Goodpasture, and Carter Ironhorse watched as Buffy Summers strolled down the street with Kos at her heels.

 

 

 

“Why on earth is that stupid cat so enticed by that girl?” Van snarled to his companions. 

 

 

 

Enid shook her head.  “I don’t know, but we have six months before we have to talk to her about the situation.”

 

 

 

“Unless she runs into one of the afflicted,” Carter muttered.  “Locke and Brewer almost escaped custody last night.”

 

 

 

“Spirit has the books on the situation at the moment,” Enid replied.  “I’ll invite Buffy and Spirit both over to dinner to introduce the subject to Buffy.  Besides, both young ladies look like they could use a friend.”

 

 

 

Only Fate had other ideas.

 

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

 

 

Enid had just served dinner when a loud gonging sound filled the air.  It echoed through the small village.

 

 

 

Spirit stared at Enid in horror.  “I thought you said …”

 

 

 

“It’s not supposed to happen for another six months, yes.”  Enid rose to her feet.  “We must go.  Now.”

 

 

 

“Go where?” Buffy asked.

 

 

 

“No time to explain.”  Enid herded the confused Buffy and frightened Spirit out the front door, leaving their dinner behind untouched.

 

 

 

“I’m not ready,” Spirit cried out in a hysterical voice.  “You said I’d have another six months to prepare for this.  What if they want me?”

 

 

 

Enid put her arm around Spirit.  She had no idea what to say to the young woman.  “Come along.”

 

 

 

Enid, Buffy, and Spirit made their way to the village square where the rest of the island residents, including the afflicted, had gathered.  They all stood around in the cool darkness, waiting.  Spirit sobbed, her face buried in Enid’s shoulder.

 

 

 

A portal opened with a loud whoosh.

 

 

 

“How cliché,” Buffy muttered.

 

 

 

Enid glanced over at the island newcomer.  Instead of a look of fear on the woman’s face, Enid noticed that Buffy just appeared to be fierce and alert.  A few feet away the afflicted started to become agitated.

 

 

 

“I’m no one,” they started to chant.  Robert Locke was the loudest and most agitated of the afflicted.

 

 

 

Enid noticed that Buffy was watching the afflicted with an even fiercer, more focused look on her face.  Her eyes narrowed as she turned her attention back to the portal.

 

 

 

The body of a middle-aged, deceased human rolled through the portal, stopping at the feet of Van Buren.

 

 

 

The afflicted fell silent and still.  The terror rolled off of them in waves.

 

 

 

An ugly monster stepped through the portal, followed by two guards carrying large clubs.  It pointed at the dead human.  “You gave me a defective model.  I demand a replacement and compensation.  I will take two tributes.”

 

 

 

Spirit let out a hiccup and sobbed.

 

 

 

The monster started towards the noise with an evil look in his eye.  “This one will do nicely.”

 

 

 

The guards moved to grab Spirit’s arms.  “No!” she screamed.

 

 

 

“Leave her alone,” Buffy said.  She stepped between Spirit and the guards.   “Leave them all alone.  Go back where you came from, and you won’t … die.”

 

 

 

“Buffy,” Enid hissed.

 

 

 

The monster sneered at the petite blonde.  “Our next contestant.  My, my, you will be a delicious one to break, and when I’m done with you, I’ll spit you back out, used up and pathetic, like them.”  It gestured towards the afflicted.

 

 

 

“You know, Ken and his buddies tried to tell me the same thing.”

 

 

 

One of the guards let out a screech.  It dropped its club and high-tailed it back through the portal.  In a few seconds, the portal closed, leaving the monster and his guard behind.

 

 

 

“Who the fuck are you?” the monster growled.

 

 

 

Buffy smiled a sweet smile.  “I’m Buffy.  The Vampire Slayer.  Maybe you’ve heard of me?”  The smile disappeared.  “I kicked Ken’s smarmy, nasty ass.”

 

 

 

“Get her,” the monster directed his guard.

 

 

 

The guard moved towards Buffy while the islanders edged away in terror.  If Enid was truthful with herself, she felt the same growing fear.  She had no idea what a vampire Slayer was, but if the demons feared it, Enid was all for it.  If Buffy’s plan failed, Enid knew the punishment from their enemy would be horrific.

 

 

 

Buffy stepped forward, and she punched the guard in the face.  The crunch of bone echoed through the quiet night air.  The guard dropped its weapon in favor of covering its bleeding nose.

 

 

 

“You know,” Buffy said, almost as if she was expecting a conversation.  “When I shared my powers, I thought it might make me weaker.”

 

 

 

Enid exchanged a look with Van.  Power?  What power?

 

 

 

“Boy Howdy!  Was I ever wrong!”  Buffy kicked the guard in the crotch.  It fell to the ground now clutching at newly hurt body parts.  It moaned for a few moments before slumping over like a rag doll.

 

 

 

“I think it’s dead,” Ironhorse exclaimed.  He edged towards the creature.

 

 

 

“Huh, who knew.”  Buffy nodded.  “A demon that dies from a kick in the balls.  That’s a new one for me.”  She turned her eyes towards the lead monster.  “Let’s see if it works on this one.”

 

 

 

The monster growled.  “It won’t.”

 

 

 

“Now, don’t be taking my fun away,” Buffy said with a pout.  “I’m willing to give it the old college try anyway.”

 

 

 

“I will see your head on a pike,” the monster roared, flexing its claws.

 

 

 

“You wish!”

 

 

 

The wooden stake appeared in Buffy’s hand as if by magic.  Enid, along with many of the islanders, had not believed in anything like magic or demons before the monster and its two guards showed up a decade before.

 

 

 

Now that was a different story entirely.  Magic and demons wasn’t just fairy tale fare.

 

 

 

The monster scoffed at Buffy’s weapon.  “What do you think you’ll accomplish with that?”

 

 

 

“You big bads need to quit insulting Mr. Pointy.  He has feelings, you know.”  Buffy looked at the stake while she twirled it like a baton.

 

 

 

While it seemed that Buffy’s attention was diverted from the monster, Enid could tell that the young woman was very aware of everything going on around her..

 

 

 

Enid let out a gasp when the monster leapt at Buffy thinking she was distracted, but she stepped out of the way.  As it passed her, she hit the monster on the back of the head with the butt of the stake.  It fell to the ground in pain.

 

 

 

Buffy looked at Enid for a moment before she stepped over to the monster.  She bent down, grabbed its head, and broke its neck with a loud snap.  She moved away from the body.

 

 

 

Buffy looked like she expected a rejection of epic proportion.  Enid gauged the crowd, and she knew that wasn’t the likely scenario at all.  Now, to convince Buffy of that fact.

 

 

 

Jimmy Brewer pulled away from his nurse.  The terror had faded from his face, and now there was just triumph in his eyes.  He ambled over to the dead monster where he proceeded to kick it hard a few times.  Jimmy turned to Buffy.  “Thank you,” was his very simple statement.

 

 

 

“You’re welcome,” Buffy said with a nod.

 

 

 

“What if that other one comes back?” Jimmy asked.

 

 

 

Buffy looked around at the crowd.  She seemed surprised by the welcoming looks.  “Guess I’ll just have to stick around.”

 

 

 

“And if he brings reinforcements?” A voice called out.

 

 

 

“Won’t be the first time I’ve fought overwhelming odds.”

 

 

 

Kos strolled out of the darkness.  He went over to Buffy where he rubbed against her legs and demanded to be picked up.  Once he was in her arms, he started to purr.

 

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

 

 

After that the islanders were more accepting of the newcomer.  She had vanquished – that was Van’s word for it – their foe, after all.  Enid noticed that Edward Buckles, the fisherman with the largest boat on the island, gave Buffy three or four of his best catch on a weekly basis.  Of course, he told her that it was for Kos, but how much fish can one small Siamese cat eat?

 

 

 

Edward’s wife, Andi, had the greenest thumb that Enid had ever seen in her life.  Andi always had extra vegetables that she gave away to anyone who needed them.  On an early morning stroll, Enid noticed a big basket of said vegetables on Buffy’s porch.

 

 

 

Enid knew that Buffy took a walk around the village every evening accompanied by Kos.  The younger woman visited the church, the cemetery, and the afflicted.  To Enid’s knowledge, Buffy never found anything she needed to deal with, but that was a good thing in the minds of the islanders.

 

 

 

Buffy and Spirit grew closer as best friends.  The only time they didn’t hang out together was when Buffy did her patrols.  The friendship became completely cemented when Spirit’s abusive ex tracked her down, and Buffy sent the man off like a dog with its tail between its legs.  Luckily Enid had been a witness.

 

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

 

 

WHAT ENID SAW

 

 

 

It was a beautiful summer morning when Enid, Spirit, and Buffy got on the ferry back to the mainland.  Each of them had a list in hand of things people wanted to get for them while on the trip.  Spirit was visibly nervous.  Enid wasn’t entirely sure why since Spirit was a bit tight-lipped about certain parts of her past.

 

 

 

 

 

Kos was there to watch them leave, and the trip to the mainland was uneventful.   Once they arrived, the three women split up to make the most of their limited time in town.

 

 

 

Enid finished with her order at the grocers.  The goods would be delivered to the ferry dock when it was time to return to the island.  She felt good about the haggling she’d done with the store owner.

 

 

 

Enid turned the last corner before she would arrive at the small restaurant where she would meet up with Buffy and Spirit.  Some tea and a few scones would be a welcome treat.  As she drew closer to the eatery, she heard Spirit let out a small scream.

 

 

 

Enid searched the street for her young friend.  Spirit stood under the awning across the street from Enid’s location.  Enid became concerned when she saw a man towering over Spirit while used her arm to shake her like a dog with a rat.  Spirit wasn’t the most strapping woman Enid had ever encountered, but she had a good six inches on both Buffy and Enid.

 

 

 

Enid crossed the street in a hurry.  She wasn’t sure what she would be able to do about the situation.  She just hoped she’d be inspired before things went from bad to worse.  The closer she got to the couple, the better she could hear their conversation.

 

 

 

“I found you, Danielle,” the man hissed.  “You thought you could hide from me.  You thought wrong, whore.”

 

 

 

Before Enid could react, Buffy appeared out of nowhere.  “Take your hands off my friend,” she growled.  “I won’t tell you twice.”

 

 

 

The man laughed when he saw Buffy and heard her words.  “Really, little girl?  You think you can take me?” 

 

 

 

“Leave her alone, Danny.”  Spirit pulled her arm away while the man was distracted. 

 

 

 

“What’s a little thing like her gonna do to me?”

 

 

 

“I’m going to kick your ass,” Buffy replied while she glared at Danny.

 

 

 

Enid knew that Buffy could do exactly what she was promising, but there was a big difference between a human and a demon.  She’d talked enough times with Buffy to know that the younger woman had a thing about harming humans.  This situation seemed to be one that wasn’t something she would put up with though.

 

 

 

Danny shook his head, and snorted.  It was quite clear that he wasn’t impressed with Buffy’s threat.

 

 

 

“Didn’t you know?  Big things come in little packages,” Buffy said.

 

 

 

Danny lunged at Buffy, with his hand in the air as if he was going to backhand the petite woman.

 

 

 

Enid was sure that he expected Buffy to be intimidated by the actions.  She didn’t even flinch, and like the demons back on the island, Danny was on the ground before he knew what hit him; his face pressed against the sidewalk.  Buffy’s foot pressed down on the back of his neck, and she still had a hold of his wrist.

 

 

 

Another man hurried up the street towards them.  He wasn’t a policeman, and he seemed to know Spirit.  He gave her a horrified look before turning his attention to the man on the ground.  “Is this why you suddenly wanted to ‘vacation’ here, Danny?” he demanded.

 

 

 

“Get this bitch off me.”

 

 

 

“No, I don’t think I will.  It’s time you learned that abusing women isn’t going to be tolerated anymore.”  The newcomer turned to Spirit.  “I’m sorry about him.”

 

 

 

“Did any of you tell him where I moved to, Brett?” Spirit asked in a small voice.

 

 

 

“No!  After all we did to get you away from him, I would never.  I guess we just didn’t cover your tracks enough.”

 

 

 

“Traitor!  I’m going to beat the shit out of you and anyone else who helped that bitch hide from me,” Danny shouted, his voice muffled from his position on the ground under Buffy’s foot.

 

 

 

Brett hissed his next words from between gritted teeth.  “You only have yourself to blame, Danny.  I promise you, if you touch one hair on our Mama’s head, you will regret it.”

 

 

 

Buffy bent down to speak to the man.  There was so much menace in her voice that Enid shivered when she heard it.  “You will leave here.  You will forget that you were ever here.  If you don’t, I have friends in low, dark places that are scarier than you.”  Then, she looked up at Spirit with a smile.  “If you don’t believe me, Danielle would be happy to tell you all about the dark things I killed.”

 

 

 

“I saw the dark things,” Enid interjected. 

 

 

 

Brett moved to Buffy’s side.  “Give him to me.  He’s my brother, after all.”  They exchanged positions.

 

 

 

Buffy pulled a business card out of her pocket, and she slipped it in Brett’s pocket.  “If your brother just won’t leave it alone about Danielle, call the number on the card.  Tell Pete and Junia that the slate is clean with me.  He’ll make your brother forget she ever existed.”

 

 

 

“Who should I tell them you are?” Brett asked.

 

 

 

“Just tell him it’s the Slayer.  Pete’ll know.”  Buffy turned to Spirit.  “Let’s get out of here.”

 

 

 

Enid followed behind Buffy and Spirit.  She found it odd that the local constabulary hadn’t shown up at the altercation.  When she commented about it to Buffy, the younger woman snorted with merriment.

 

 

 

“That’s just the Sunnydale Factor.”  A small, wistful smile graced Buffy’s face.  “Or as an old friend once called it, the ‘Sergeant Shultz’ syndrome.   He watched a lot of late night television with lots of reruns.  I never quite understood the reference though, and he never explained it.”

 

 

 

Spirit laughed.  “I have Hogan’s Heroes on DVD.  We’ll get together and watch them.”

 

 

 

And that’s how Buffy and Spirit became best friends.

 

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

 

 

“Um, excuse me, can you tell me where I can find Buffy Summers?”

 

 

 

Enid looked up from her book.  She was sitting at the café, enjoying a cup of tea while waiting for a delivery off the ferry and enjoying the morning sunshine with Kos.  Enid gulped in fear at the sight of the floppy skinned person asking her the question.

 

 

 

The creature held its hands up, backed up, and looked around nervously.  “I just need to talk to her.  Honest.  I’m not here to hurt anyone.”

 

 

 

Kos twitched and meowed at the person.

 

 

 

“I’m on the wagon, honest.  No kittens for me.”

 

 

 

“Clem!”  Buffy rushed, and to Enid’s surprise, she gave the creature a hug.  “What are you doing here?”

 

 

 

“Slayer.”  Clem hugged Buffy in return.  “It’s so good to see you.”

 

 

 

“Buffy?” Spirit asked in a hesitant voice.  

 

 

 

Enid knew that the young woman hadn’t recovered from being thrust into the reality of the supernatural world that surrounded them all.

 

 

 

Buffy turned to her friend.  “I know Clem looks a little scary, but he’s really a sweetheart.  Not all demons are like those ones that were here.  Besides, it’s only kittens that have to worry about him.”

 

 

 

“Are you sure?”

 

 

 

“Absolutely.  Now, Clem, these are my friends Spirit and Enid,” Buffy introduced them to each other.  “Spirit, Enid, this is Clem.  He’s an old friend from my hometown.”

 

 

 

“Charmed.”  Enid took a drink of her tea.  “Join me, Spirit.  We’ll enjoy a cuppa while Buffy catches up with her friend.”

 

 

 

Spirit joined Enid at the table while Buffy and Clem sat down to talk.

 

 

 

“What’s the what?” 

 

 

 

Clem twiddled his thumbs nervously.  “I know you don’t want to see the Scoobies, the Watcher, or Dawn.  The person who needs to see you isn’t any of them.”

 

 

 

Enid watched the color drain from Buffy’s face.  She quickly poured the younger woman a cup of tea.  Buffy nodded her thanks with a weak smile.

 

 

 

“I don’t want to see Angel either.”

 

 

 

“I wouldn’t be here if it was Angel,” Clem replied in a rush.

 

 

 

Buffy took a deep breath, and she closed her eyes.  Clem gave Enid a wide-eyed look before he started to speak again.

 

 

 

“I’m the bearer of bad news,” Clem said in a soft voice.  “Angel is gone.”

 

 

 

Buffy’s head came up in an instant.  “Gone?  You mean he dusted?”

 

 

 

“Nobody knows.  He was fighting the dragon and fell through a portal.  Illyria went after him.   They couldn’t find either of them after the battle.  Not even Sp …”  Clem trailed off.

 

 

 

“Finish that sentence, Clem!” Buffy demanded.

 

 

 

The four of them sat in silence until Clem finally spoke again.  “Not even Spike.”

 

 

 

“Spike isn’t dead?”  Buffy questioned slowly.  Before Clem could answer, Buffy jumped to her feet and marched away.  She didn’t go far though; just to the end of the pier where she stared out over the ocean.

 

 

 

Enid wondered who Spike was, and why Buffy thought he was dead.  She glanced at Spirit, but the other woman looked as confused as Enid felt.  Buffy must have stayed mum on the subject with her best friend too.

 

 

 

Kos let out a meow before he joined Buffy.  Enid, Spirit, and Clem watched her pick the cat up and rub her face into his fur.

 

 

 

Clem turned to the human women, cleared his throat, and said with an awkward voice, “So, how about those Mets?”

 

 

 

“You don’t have to make small talk, Clem,” Buffy said.  She stood behind Clem with Kos in her arms.  “I need to know everything.”

 

 

 

Buffy sat back down at the table.  She waved the waitress, Burris, over to get another round of tea and scones brought to the table.  Then, Clem told Spike’s tale of resurrection, staying at Wolfram and Hart even though he really wanted to rush to Buffy’s side, and the fight in a dirty Los Angeles alley.

 

 

 

Buffy stared at Clem while she processed what she’d been told.  “Andrew told Spike that I was dating this Immortal dude?”

 

 

 

“Yes,” Clem said with a nod.  “They have an imposter pretending to be you to hide the fact that you left them just as soon as you were able.”

 

 

 

“Wow.  Did Spike believe it?”

 

 

 

Clem shook his head.  “No.  He didn’t mention it to Angel, since Angel didn’t notice, but Spike said the apartment that was supposed to be yours didn’t even smell like you.”

 

 

 

“He wants to see me, even after …” Buffy asked in a small voice.  “I couldn’t even tell him I loved him till he was dying, and he didn’t believe me.”

 

 

 

“Bloody hell, pet.  What else was I going to say at that soddin’ moment?”

 

 

 

The entire table looked towards the dark interior of the café.  Standing there was a bleached blond man with a pale complexion.  He was dressed entirely in black including the long duster.  Buffy covered her mouth with one hand.

 

 

 

Enid knew the man must be Spike.  She thought he was quite handsome in a Goth kind of way.  She was surprised that he didn’t sport black eyeliner and black fingernails.

 

 

 

“You were about to say that I really didn’t want to see you, weren’t you, Slayer?” 

 

 

 

Enid studied Buffy to gauge her reaction to the words.  There was always sadness in Buffy’s eyes.  Enid hadn’t known what it had been for, but she was now sure it was attached to Spike.

 

 

 

Spike sighed while he shook his head.  “Sometimes, Buffy, you try me.  You really do.  If I didn’t want to see you again, I wouldn’t have returned to Sunnydale after what I did.”

 

 

 

Enid and Spirit exchanged a glance, both wondering what had happened in the past.  There were some things that Buffy had been quite silent about - one being her past romantic relationships. 

 

 

 

Buffy let out a distressed sound.  She leapt to her feet, and she rushed over to Spike.  He braced himself as if he was expecting an attack.

 

 

 

“You’re a ... a … “ Buffy stumbled over her words.  “A dope.  A big, shirty, dopey, bonehead!”

 

 

 

Spike threw his head back and laughed.

 

 

 

“Don’t laugh at me!”  Buffy smacked his arm.

 

 

 

“Oh pet, I’m laughing because we’ve had this conversation before.”  Spike pulled Buffy close.

 

 

 

Buffy gave Spike a disgruntled look.  “Yes, we did.  Then, you went and saved the world.”

 

 

 

Spike pushed a lock of Buffy’s hair behind her ear.  “Guess it’s just our thing, pet.”  He bent to cover her lips with his own.

 

 

 

Spirit let out a sigh.  Enid wasn’t sure how Spirit could still be a romantic with her past hurts.  Mentally shrugging, she went back to her tea and scones.  Life on the island was certainly interesting.

 

 

 

“Well, we’ll be here for awhile,” Clem muttered.  “Might as well have a bite to eat while we wait.”

 

 

 

Kos hissed at the floppy skinned demon.

 

 

 

“Fish, man.  A bit of fish,” Clem protested.

 

 

 

Enid, Spirit, and Clem made awkward small talk while Spike and Buffy finished their passionate reunion kiss.

 

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

 

 

It had been twenty years since Buffy had arrived on Breuddwydion Island.  After the altercation between Buffy and the dimensional demons that had held the islander hostage for several decades, the islanders had been free from such beings.  However, Enid mused that the supernatural residents now outnumbered the humans.   It had been a slow process which started with Buffy’s reunion with Spike.

 

 

 

Enid couldn’t say that Spike and Buffy had the most peaceful relationship on the island.  They frequently fought, ending with one or the other storming out of their cottage in a fit of rage, but they always returned.  Their love burned hot, bright, and without end.

 

 

 

Clem left and returned with his human girlfriend, Jack Reitz, whom Buffy recognized as a bartender at the local club back in Sunnydale.  Jack took a job at The Raven and the Flower, helping out Owen Grant and his wife Zoe.  After Owen’s death, Zoe sold the bar to Clem and Jack before she moved to the mainland to live with her daughter.

 

 

 

Next to show up on the island were Pete and Junia.  They looked human, but clearly they weren’t.  Like Buffy, it seemed like they hadn’t aged since their arrival.  Pete ran an herbal remedy shop that was the front for magical supplies.  He had a thriving mail order business over the Internet.  Junia, along with a witch named Miranda Silver, provided midwife services to the island mothers.

 

 

 

On the north most tip of the island, there was a colony of Foi demons.  The goat cheese and goat milk soap they made turned a tidy profit at the mainland Farmer’s Market.  Enid knew their process was a closely guarded secret. 

 

 

 

The influx of supernatural didn’t stop there.  Miranda’s coven was now based on the island.  The leader, Serina Brennan, cast a magical shield that covered the entire small land mess and a mile of sea in every direction.  This made it so that only people in the know realized the amount of non-humans residing on Breuddwydion.

 

 

 

“Kinda like that one spell in Harry Potter?” Buffy asked once.  “The one that hid the house.”

 

 

 

“She got the idea from me,” Serina answered proudly.

 

 

 

New businesses had popped up to accommodate the population, including a small tattoo parlor that was by appointment only.   The owner, Richard Jones, worked with Buffy and Serina until they worked out a way to put the shield into a tattoo.  This helped with visits to the mainland.

 

 

 

There were others since the island’s population had swelled to over 500 residents, but since no one was complaining it wasn’t a problem.  Sure, there was a criminal element which was mainly the humans since the demons all knew that Buffy wouldn’t tolerate any shenanigans from them.  All in all, everyone was pretty content with the situation.

 

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

 

 

 

Enid watched Spike and Buffy compete in the annual dart championship.  The festival was held in celebration of the island’s first colonist landing centuries ago.  The two blonds were the current reigning dart champions, having won for the past five years. 

 

 

 

It was too early to be drinking, but Enid felt that at her age, she could do anything she damned well pleased.  She waved Jack over to order a beer.

 

 

 

Spike and Buffy finished their round of darts, letting Spirit and Richard Jones take their turn at the board.  The competition was fierce with many islanders wanting to topple Spike and Buffy from their throne.

 

 

 

The front door of the pub opened, and a short, red-haired man stepped inside.  He was dressed in jeans and a graphic t-shirt that stated that The Dingoes were on tour again.  He looked around the room with an expectant look on his face.

 

 

 

Spike noticed the man first.  “Dogboy!”  He waved the man over to the bar.   “Everyone!  Listen up, this is Oz.”

 

 

 

“Hello, Oz!”  The patrons greeted him with a loud cheer.

 

 

 

“What brings you to our fair isle?” Buffy asked.

 

 

 

“Dropped by the Watcher’s Headquarters a couple of weeks ago.  Ended up crashing a wedding,” Oz drawled.  “It was a hootenanny .”

 

 

 

“Not a gathering or shindig?”

 

 

 

“Whose wedding?”

 

 

 

Spike and Buffy spoke at the same time.

 

 

 

“Seein’ is believin’.”  Oz took off his old, worn backpack, and he took out a state of the art laptop.  He hooked up to the big screen television before going to the YouTube website.

 

 

 

The patrons all fell silent and watched the screen.  Even Spirit and Richard paused in their dart game to watch.

 

 

 

The video Oz clicked on opened with the inside of a crowded church decorated with white flowers.  The person behind the camera focused on the men in tuxedos standing at the front of a minister in front of the podium.  The camera zoomed in on one man in particular.

 

 

 

“That’s Angel!” Buffy exclaimed.  She looked around at all the patrons who were looking at her with expectant faces.  “He’s an ex.  Someone both Spike and I know.”

 

 

 

Spike snorted.  “When did he get back from his vacation to another dimension?”

 

 

 

“And doesn’t he know that churches are dangerous for vampires?” Buffy asked in a rhetorical tone.

 

 

 

“He got back six months ago according to Caridad, one of the junior Slayers,” Oz replied.  “And he’s human.”

 

 

 

Spike and Buffy turned to stare at Oz in astonishment.

 

 

 

One of the patrons, a Chaos demon by the name of Helena, turned and asked in a confused voice, “How is that even possible?  Did he have a run in with a Mohra demon?”

 

 

 

Spike shook his head.  “Probably not.  There is a prophecy though.”

 

 

 

On the video, the bridal march music started, and the camera switched to the back of the church.  The bride started down the aisle.  Enid recognized the man that was escorting the bride.  Buffy had shown anyone who left the island pictures of her old friends, including one Rupert Giles.   Giles had an odd look on his face, like he didn’t want to be there.

 

 

 

“Huh,” Buffy grunted when she saw Giles.

 

 

 

“It gets better.”  Oz fast-forwarded to where the bride was starting to say her vows.  The camera zoomed in on the bride’s face.  Several of the patrons turned to scrutinize Buffy’s face.

 

 

 

“Do you, Buffy Anne Summers, take this man to be …”

 

 

 

“What!”  Buffy’s screech drowned out the minister’s voice.

 

 

 

Oz paused the video.  “Angel married the Buffy imposter.  Apparently Giles, Willow, and even Dawn tried to tell him it wasn’t you, but he blew them off.”

 

 

 

Spike chortled.  “Bet he told them that he knew Buffy better than anyone, being her one true love.”

 

 

 

“She does bear a superficial resemblance to you, Buffy,” Spirit said.

 

 

 

The other patrons agreed with Spirit.

 

 

 

“Maybe a little,” Buffy conceded.  “Her eyes are the wrong color, and her hair is way too blonde.”

 

 

 

Spike tilted his head.  “Nose is all wrong too.”

 

 

 

“How is Angel fooled by that?”  Buffy raised her hand.  “Don’t answer that.  I don’t care.  If he can’t tell it isn’t me, that’s his own stupidity.”

 

 

 

“You’re not going to rush out to rescue him, Slayer?” Spike asked.

 

 

 

“Hell no.  I’m perfectly happy here with you and our island life.”  Buffy turned to Spirit with a grin.  “You and Richard are going to have to try harder if you’re going to beat us at darts.”

 

 

 

“You’re on!”

 

 

 

Enid knew where Buffy was coming from.  She too was happy with their island life.

 

 

 

The End